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  • Writer's pictureKeith Dussia

Stop Asking Why & Start Asking What & How

Shifting from "why" to "what" and "how" can profoundly change our approach to life's challenges and our personal growth journey. Asking "why" often leads us down a path of rumination and speculation, focusing on reasons and sometimes assigning blame, without necessarily providing a constructive way forward. It's a question that, especially in the context of difficult or painful experiences, seldom offers the closure or understanding we seek. Instead, it can trap us in a cycle of negativity and helplessness.

When we pivot to asking "what" and "how," we open ourselves to a more empowering and proactive mindset. These questions encourage us to look for opportunities for growth, learning, and action, even in the face of adversity.



This approach doesn't mean we ignore our feelings or the impact of our experiences. On the contrary, it's about acknowledging our emotions and then choosing to channel our energy into actions that can lead to healing and growth.
Stop Asking Why & Start Asking What & How


Asking "What"

Asking "what" helps us identify our resources, strengths, and opportunities. It's about seeking clarity and understanding about our situation and our reactions to it. "What can I learn from this experience?" prompts reflection and encourages us to find lessons in our struggles, turning obstacles into opportunities for personal development. "What can I do differently next time?" helps us apply these lessons, fostering resilience and adaptability.


Asking "How"

Shifting to "how" focuses on strategies and steps for moving forward. It's about turning insight into action. "How can I support myself through this?" or "How can I make a positive change?" are questions that guide us towards constructive behaviors and solutions. They encourage us to think creatively and resourcefully, looking for ways to overcome challenges and improve our circumstances.


The Power of Constructive Questioning

This approach doesn't mean we ignore our feelings or the impact of our experiences. On the contrary, it's about acknowledging our emotions and then choosing to channel our energy into actions that can lead to healing and growth. By focusing on "what" and "how," we empower ourselves to take control of our narrative, to write our own story of overcoming and becoming.


Adopting this mindset has been transformative for me. It's helped me move from feeling stuck and victimized by my circumstances to feeling capable and in charge of my journey. It's a shift from passivity to agency, from being at the mercy of events to actively shaping my response to them.


In essence, while "why" keeps us looking backward, trying to piece together a puzzle that may never be fully understandable, "what" and "how" propel us forward. They remind us that, no matter what we face, we have the power to choose our path through it. They're about building, learning, and growing, not despite the challenges we face, but because of them.


This shift in questioning, from dwelling on "why" to focusing on "what" and "how," embodies the essence of LifeIn180. It's all about turning our lives around, 180 degrees, from a place of stagnation and frustration to one of action, growth, and empowerment. LifeIn180 isn't just a concept; it's a practice, a daily commitment to choosing how we respond to the world around us. It's about recognizing that while we may not have control over every circumstance we encounter, we do have control over our mindset and the choices we make in response.


By embracing "what" and "how," we engage with life as active participants, ready to learn, grow, and transform. This is the heart of LifeIn180—finding strength, resilience, and joy in the journey of becoming our best selves, one empowering question at a time.


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