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  • Writer's pictureKeith Dussia

Transformation Through Love. This Is My Story


"The wound is the place where The Light Enters You" - Rumi


"All I ever wanted was to love and be loved." This mantra from my childhood, long forgotten, came rushing back to me one night in a dream many years ago. In this dream, I found myself ascending, floating above a young boy who was deeply engrossed in typing at a long table. I was a silent observer to him, invisible, yet somehow deeply connected. The room was bathed in a soft, amber glow, and a quartet's music filled the air, heightening the sense of drama and anticipation.



So, I extend an invitation to anyone who resonates with this message: to explore the depths of your own story, to embrace the beauty and pain with equal measure, and to recognize that in the vulnerability of sharing, we find strength. Let us connect through our shared human experience, offering support, understanding, and love to one another.
My Story of Transformation Through Love


As I drifted higher, I could see the boy more clearly. He was young, around eight, lost in a trance as his fingers danced across the keys of an old manual typewriter. There was an innocence about him, a purity that drew me in, and as I watched, I realized there was a familiar loneliness in him that mirrored my own. Despite his unawareness of my presence, I felt a profound connection to him, to the typewriter, to the very words he was crafting. It was surreal, watching this unfold, feeling both apart from and a part of the scene.


The typewriter, a black Remington Standard number 10, was identical to the one from my own childhood. It was an exquisite relic from before the era of electric typewriters and computers, its steel frame coated in black paint, its keys gleaming like pearls. Next to the boy was a towering stack of paper, evidence of days, perhaps weeks, of relentless typing. As I hovered closer, I could see the words he was typing, but they didn't make sense at first. Then, suddenly, they did. Over and over, he typed: "All I ever wanted was to love and be loved."


In that moment, my perspective shifted dramatically. My memories began to rewind, revealing that the boy was me, pouring out the deepest desires of my heart through the keys of that old typewriter. The dream took me back to darker times filled with confusion and mistreatment by those who were meant to protect and nurture me. These guardians of my world, rather than teaching me about love, had shown me a twisted version that left me lost and alone.


Yet, as I floated above my younger self, I was confronted with a reality I had long tried to bury. My past, with all its shadows, was laid bare before me, not to cause me pain but to illuminate the path toward healing. The dream wasn't just a revisit to these moments but a powerful awakening to the mantra that had sustained me: "All I ever wanted was to love and be loved."


This realization was both painful and profoundly beautiful. It reminded me that my coping mechanisms, once necessary for survival, needed to be let go. I was ready for transformation. This dream, occurring during a pivotal retreat, marked the beginning of a significant change in my life. It wasn't mere coincidence but a synchronistic moment leading me to confront and embrace my story fully.


The experience taught me that we don't need to carry the weight of our past alone or in silence. We can share our stories, shine light into our darkest corners, and find a path to freedom and self-worth. It reaffirmed my belief in the power of love and the importance of being loved, just as we are.


This journey, illuminated by a dream that pierced the shadows of my past, served as a profound reminder of the transformative power of love. It's a force capable of healing the deepest wounds, of bridging the widest gaps, and of bringing light into the darkest corners of our existence.


In embracing this truth, I've come to understand that love is not just an external quest but an internal realization. To love and be loved starts with accepting ourselves, with recognizing our own worth and extending kindness and compassion inward. This self-love becomes the foundation upon which we build our relationships with others, allowing us to give and receive love more freely and fully.


This revelation has propelled me on a path of self-discovery and growth. No longer do I view my past experiences as chains that bind me but as steps on the ladder leading me to a higher understanding of myself and my place in the world. The mantra "All I ever wanted was to love and be loved" now serves not just as a cry from my soul but as a guiding principle, illuminating my journey toward self-acceptance and fulfillment.


Moreover, this dream, and the journey it sparked, underscored the importance of sharing our stories. In revealing our truths, we offer others a mirror in which they might see their own struggles reflected and, through this reflection, find a sense of companionship and hope. It's a reminder that we're all woven from the same fabric, each of us navigating our unique yet interconnected paths toward love and understanding.


So, I extend an invitation to anyone who resonates with this message: to explore the depths of your own story, to embrace the beauty and pain with equal measure, and to recognize that in the vulnerability of sharing, we find strength. Let us connect through our shared human experience, offering support, understanding, and love to one another.


As we journey forward, let us carry the mantra "All I ever wanted was to love and be loved" in our hearts, letting it guide us toward greater empathy, connection, and self-awareness. Let us remember that in the act of loving and accepting love, we affirm our common humanity, our innate worthiness, and the endless potential for growth and transformation that lies within each of us.


Finally, with much healing and time, my mantra has evolved and change and so can yours. Now, it is something that I live. Here is what it looks like and sounds like:


"I am loved and capable of loving".


No longer just a montra, it's a life, my life, one filled with healthy relationships. It's a give and take. Balanced. Loving and being loved.


In sharing my story, I hope to light a spark in others, to encourage a movement of self-discovery, acceptance, and unconditional love. Together, we can traverse the complexities of life, armed with the knowledge that we are enough, that we are worthy of love, and that in the end, love is both the journey and the destination. You are enough. Enbrace and love who you are on your journey toward becoming who you want to be.



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