Lately, I've been reflecting on something that I think many of us can relate to—feeling stuck and frustrated with not making the progress we expect. It’s a heavy feeling when you’re trying to move forward but the weight of old patterns, expectations, and the need to control keeps pulling you back. These are things I’ve been dealing with, and if you’ve been there too, I want you to know that you're not alone.
What is Progress?
For the longest time, I thought progress meant hitting milestones—seeing immediate, visible changes. I would measure my growth by big leaps forward, comparing myself to others or to some ideal version of myself that always seemed just out of reach. But what I'm coming to understand is that progress isn’t always big or obvious. Sometimes it’s more like a series of tiny, almost imperceptible steps. Micro shifts.
You might picture it as a ladder, where the rungs are normally close enough together to climb steadily. But when life stretches those rungs too far apart, it can feel like you’re not moving at all. That’s where the frustration comes in—the gap feels too big, and suddenly, every step forward seems insurmountable. But the truth is, progress is still happening, even if you don’t always see it. It’s in the micro shifts, the subtle changes in perspective, the small moments of awareness.
Relinquishing Control and Living in the Present
In my own journey, I’ve come to realize that a lot of the pain I have felt—whether it’s emotional or spiritual—stems from trying to control things that are simply beyond my control. I faced that truth when the pain I was carrying became unbearable, and I was forced to let go. The control I thought I had was just an illusion, and clinging to it only deepened my frustration.
I know it sounds counterintuitive, but sometimes progress means relinquishing control. When we stop trying to force outcomes or live in alternate realities of “should,” “could,” or “would,” we create space to actually be present. The present moment is where the real work happens, even if it doesn’t feel like progress in the traditional sense.
Where Does the Pain Come From?
The root of our pain usually does not stem from the situation we’re in—it’s in the deeper belief that we are not enough or that we don’t deserve better. Some limiting belief. I’ve wrestled with some of these beliefs for what seems like a lifetime, and I know I’m not the only one. These thoughts can make the ladder rungs feel even further apart, like the gap between where we are and where we want to be is too wide to ever close.
But what if that gap isn’t as big as it seems? What if the pain is trying to teach us something?
I’ve found that the Universe always has a way of making sure we’re ready for the growth we seek. The pain, the struggle, the setbacks—they aren’t signs that we’re failing. They’re opportunities to learn, to grow, and to prepare for what’s next. Healing isn’t about escaping the pain; it’s about understanding it, sitting with it, and allowing it as a tool for growth.
Small Steps Forward
The truth is, healing and change rarley look like we expect. Sometimes they look like a conversation with a friend, or choosing to get out of bed when it feels like the hardest thing to do. Sometimes they’re about reaching out for support or acknowledging that we’ve made it through another day.
I’ve been through my own share of challenges, and if there’s one thing I know, it’s that we’re more resilient than we think. I’ve always landed on my feet, and you will too. That doesn’t mean it’s easy or without setbacks, but it does mean that we can keep moving forward—one micro shift at a time.
So, if you’re feeling frustrated, like you’re not making progress, take a step back and ask yourself: What does progress really mean to me? Where can I let go of control? And how can I be more present with what’s happening in the here and now?
There’s hope in the small shifts—in the moments of awareness, in the release of control, in the steps that may feel tiny but are monumental in the grand scheme of things.
Walk with me. Embrace the process, and trust that, even when we can’t see it, we’re moving forward. We got this!
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